Jason says "read this blog!"
Just when I'm about to sign the DNR papers for this blog something comes along and inspires me to write another post. One of these days Jason Segel will come to his senses and beg me to befriend him. I just hope he isn't waiting to see the 365th reason. It may take years.

365 Reasons Why...An Explanation

Well, hello there (said in a very sexy voice). You're looking quite lovely today. Welcome to my blog. Feel free to take off your shoes and get comfortable, maybe leave a comment or two. This started out as kind of a funny thing to do after I blew a phone conversation with Jason, but I've found I really enjoy writing every day and researching new and interesting things about my future BFF. In January I met Jason at a comedy club and the few words we shared only reinforced my belief that he and I would get along famously. As a dear friend of mine recently said, "why wouldn't he want to be friends with you - you're awesome!" Perhaps the 365 reasons in this blog may just convince Jason of what I already know to be true: separately, our awesomeness is great; combined, it may be enough to take over the world. If you want to be one of my esteemed followers, simply click on the 'follow' button toward the bottom of the page. Come on, you know you want to.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Reason 290

Personalized songs. As I was driving home the other night from yet another completely uninspiring first date, a little ditty came on the radio that managed to buoy my spirits and make me think that life as a celibate nun might not be the right path for me afterall (especially since I'm a perverted atheist). I don't know what kind of pact the follicly-blessed Hall and Oates made with the devil, but they have written some of the catchiest, bubbliest, most smile-inducing songs of the pop music genre and when "Sara Smile" lilts forth from my speakers, all my romantic angst just disappears. There's something magical about hearing one's own name in a song and I am fortunate enough to know of  three songs that contain mine - the aforementioned 1976 classic, "Sarah Maria" by James Taylor (yes, it's obscure, but I went through a phase where I just adored the former heroin addict), and the song that everyone, to this day, feels compelled to sing to me, "Sara" by Starship. That little gem was released in 1985 when I was eight years old and I still remember eagerly looking forward to my elementary school's yearly outing to Skate King (why do roller rinks always smell so weird?!), wondering if this would be the year a cute boy asked me to skate during the Snowball Session while a soothing voice imparted timeless wisdom from the DJ booth - that's right little 3rd grader, no time is a good time for goodbyes. Well, after thinking about all of these amazing songs written just for me (we'll ignore the fact that some artists can't spell Sarah correctly), I realized I don't know of a single tune written about the Jasons of the world. How sad for you, my friend. I guess I will have to take it upon myself to concoct a brilliant opus all about my future BFF and the things he loves. Obviously, there will have to be a Muppets shout out, props to Disneyland, a few amorous words for your hometown, and perhaps even a line or two about your membership in the full frontal film club since folks keep bringing that up even though you made Forgetting Sarah Marshall over three years ago (Jason Segel has a penis - get over it, people!). Let me know if my lovely lyrics should include anything else. There's no guarantee I'll include your suggestions, but, as your amigo, I will do my best to keep a straight face while you opine on the wonders of flip flops or some other tragic fashion craze you seem partial to.