Reason 313

Racquetball. In the last month I have rediscovered my affinity for a sport where small blue balls zip past my head at unsafe speeds and I unsuccessfully attempt to smack them with a tiny racket. For reasons unknown to man, the racquetball skills possessed by my husband, who isn't the most athletic of fellows, have improved by leaps and bounds, while mine seem to be more on the trajectory of toddler-sized hops. And yet I continue to play against him a few times a week. Such a masochist. At least I am entertaining in my gracelessness. Turns out I'm kind of like the John McEnroe of the local racquetball scene (if that scene actually existed), throwing mild tantrums and swearing up a blue streak when I miss easy shots. I'm also a bit of a rebel, playing sans safety goggles despite signs posted outside the courts encouraging players to protect their peepers and the pleas of my dear friend Emily, who is convinced a ball is going to get lodged in my socket, creating a vacuum that will suck my eyeball clean out. Have I mentioned that some of my friends are insane? Anyhoo, I hear you get your endorphins pumping by putting a bike between your legs, Jason, but if you ever want to squeeze in a game or two of racquetball and come away feeling pretty darn good about your athletic prowess, just let me know. I may even consider wearing safety goggles, if you promise not to destroy me too badly.

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Reason 312

Kick-ass librarians. After speaking at the American Library Association's midwinter meeting this year, you must be aware, Jason, that librarians are some of the coolest people on the planet. With all of the time I spent in public libraries growing up, I already knew this, but now that I have switched careers (see reason 310) I get to witness such awesomeness on a regular basis. A few weeks ago I wrapped up a year-long library media endorsement program at the University of Washington and today I passed a grueling on-line multiple choice test, which means Washington state officially recognizes me as one of those kick-ass librarians I referenced a few sentences ago. I don't know how it's possible, but I am even cooler today than I was yesterday, all because of a little piece of paper. Just think, Jason, how many incredible librarians I could introduce you to if we were besties. I mean, you haven't partied until you've spent Friday night with a bunch of censorship-hating bibliophiles, drinking beer, eating triple chocolate cake, and watching a couple of dogs play tug of war in the backyard. Don't even get me started on the raucous games of Cards Against Humanity! I'm blushing just thinking about some of the perverse cards that were thrown down on my dining room table last week. Of course, I have met a few less-than-stellar librarians in my lifetime (I'm talking about you, cranky lady at the Newport Way branch who wouldn't let me use the phone to call my mom for a ride home), but thankfully they seem to be few and far between. So, the next time you're in town I promise to introduce you to some of my colleagues who consistently blow my mind with their passion, innovation and dedication to this profession of mine. Just promise me you'll brush up on your knowledge of Dewey beforehand. I'd hate for you to feel left out when all of us start cracking jokes about MARC records and you think we're talking about Mr. Antony's latest album.

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