Reason 38

Similar work schedules. One of the perks of being a teacher is the numerous vacations I get in order to recharge my brain/body and avoid going insane from spending 40 hours a week with 11 year olds. As an actor on a hilarious and successful sitcom, your work schedule seems to mirror mine a bit. You get a chunk of time off in the summer while HIMYM is in reruns (sorry, I couldn't resist the picture) and a couple of weeks off around Solstice/Hanukkah/Christmas/ Kwanzaa/New Year's to sit around your mansion wishing your friends with "normal" jobs could come over and play. Well, you are in luck because my job is completely abnormal and I will most likely be available to hang out with you any day from June 21 to late August and at random times during the school year when I get a day or two off for something called Professional Development (hah!). The 3,000 miles or so between us may put a kink in this plan, but I'm sure we can come up with a solution. Hmm, all hot shot actors have private jets, right?

Reason 37

New music. From what I have heard and read about you, we have very similar tastes in music and are both huge music lovers. I always say a day without any music is a day that isn't worth living. If we are ever driving together (and I know we will be because that's what friends do), don't expect me to turn off the radio/CD/iPod. Anyhoo, I bet there are bands you listen to that I'm unfamiliar with and I would love to introduce you to some of my favorite groups that may be under most people's radars. That picture over there is of Pink Martini, an incredible Portland, Oregon band that I have been following since college (wow, that makes me feel old). If you don't know their music, finish reading this entry and then zip on over to the nearest music store to pick up all of their albums. Or download them since it is 2010, afterall. Hmm, do record stores even exist any more? I also recommend Paris Combo for when you're in the mood for some upbeat, French pop music (and when aren't you, really?), Leslie Hall if you want to listen to some hilarious, home-grown rap by a woman who is obsessed with bedazzled sweaters, Free Design for incredible 1970's harmonies and silly lyrics (a song about kites? I kid you not), and Bitch & Animal, a Brooklyn duo whose music can't be categorized. What would you recommend I check out, Jason?

Pink Martini site

Reason 36

Peter Sellers. So, since I started this lovely blog I have taken to trolling YouTube for videos of interviews with you, Jason, in an attempt to find out why exactly we should be friends. I can't believe this is what my life has become...but I digress. The other night I was listening to a radio interview you did before "I Love You, Man" was released in which you mentioned watching the episode of the Muppet Show where Peter Sellers hosted and sang a rousing ditty called "Cigarettes and Whiskey" about the negative effects of smoking, drinking and canoodling with wild, wild women. When I heard this my mouth almost fell to the floor because a few months ago I referenced that very song in a Facebook status update. I had watched that episode with my Muppet-loving, 3-year old niece and had Peter's song stuck in my head for hours afterward. Of all the episodes you could have referenced, you chose one I had just watched. Get out of my head, Jason Segel! And then call me so we can watch this Muppet Show episode together.

Cigarettes and Whiskey clip - you know you wanna' watch it

Reason 35

Poker. Apparently, I don't know when to hold 'em or when to fold 'em. I am a crappy poker player, which means if we played together you would almost be guaranteed to win some of my hard-earned moolah. For the past three years or so I have gotten together with a motley group of poker friends every few months and, without fail, I return home with either nothing or a measley dollar or two in my pocket. We played last night and I didn't win a hand for over an hour, returning home with a whopping $4. Fortunately, there is only a ten dollar buy in, so a few hours with these card sharks doesn't break the bank, but I would still like to know what victory tastes like. If you are ever in town and want to play a little Texas Hold 'Em I'm sure I could cajole my friends into playing with you. Be prepared for some strange topics of conversation, though. Last night our talk ran the gamut, from tea bagging and Shamwows to the upcoming Muppet movie and  vampire-whale pornography. Um, don't ask.

Thanks for a good time last night, Chris, Connie, Matt X 2 and Misty!

Reason 34

Healthtronics. At first I couldn't understand why you would be involved with a urological equipment company. But, after doing some further research, I came across your version of Healthtronics and was delighted to see it had nothing to do with peeing. I whole heartedly agree with every tenet of the program and admit my heart raced when I read them because they mirror my life so completely (further proof we should be friends, my good man). For those 6 readers out there who are unfamiliar with Healthtronics, let me enlighten you (the explanations are mine, not Jason's).

1. The camera doesn't lie. In other words, take care of your health (whether you are being filmed or not). This tenet is my least favorite, although it is probably the most important. I mean, it would be hard to follow the other tenets if I were dead.
2. Be kind. I've always believed a person gets much further by being kind than by being an ass...and it just feels better.
3. Pursue your passion with vigor. I absolutely love teaching and pursue it passionately. If you are not fortunate enough to be doing something you are passionate about, I weep for you. Find something that makes you excited to get up in the morning and then do it!
4. Don't hate, congratulate. I think this one connects nicely to #2. Be happy for those who find success and happiness, and eventually those things will come your way, too. I also appreciate that it rhymes - yes, I am a complete dork.
5. Control your breathing. I think this can be interpreted broadly. When I am exasperated with kids at work, I stop and breathe deeply (or make them take deep breaths) and immediately gain better perspective on the situation. I hear breathing helps during labor, too, but don't take my word for it. Hah! That totally makes me think of Reading Rainbow. Oh, Levar Burton, I adore you.

I will help you spread your good word, Jason. Put me down for one Healthtronics t-shirt and bumper sticker.

Healthtronics article

Reason 33

The Sound of Music sing-along. You may not know it, but Seattle is very supportive of musical theater. Hairspray and Shrek premiered here, and almost every year the major theater downtown hosts a little something called the Sound of Music Sing-Along. In fact, it happened today. Basically, a bunch of musical-loving geeks, like me, raptly watch the epic film and sing along with every song. We clutch little sprigs of eidelweiss in our hands and shake swatches of ugly curtain fabric in the air. There is almost nothing that makes my heart happier than being with over 1,000 people, hissing at the Baroness, booing at the Nazis, and swooning when the Captain finally reveals his love to Maria. Before the movie starts there is a costume parade across the stage and this year I marched proudly as "raindrops on roses." I know you are jealous, Jason, but I promise you can go with me next year. Start thinking about your costume now - no nuns or goat herds allowed; they are just too easy.

Shout out to Tamara for going with me - you are one of my favorite things!

Reason 32

No New Year's resolutions. I don't think I have made a resolution in at least 10 years. I never understood why people felt they had to wait for a special day to change something in their lives. If you want to change something, just do it. This means you will never have to listen to me complain about not losing weight or skipping out on the gym, which seem to be on everyone's resolution list. What I have done the last few years, however, is created a list of things I would like to accomplish in the coming year. Some past goals include getting a passport and leaving the country (check and check - London is lovely), particpating in a half-marathon (check - walked the whole thing with mom in tow), and finally getting aroud to writing a screenplay (check - it only took 5 days and is one of my proudest accomplishments). I'm not sure what will make it onto this year's list, although I'm sure meeting you will be toward the top. And, by the way, I will fully support your resolution to work out less. You're right, 6 to 7 hours a day at the gym is ludicrous.