The Puyallup Fair. Deep fried chicken and doughnut burgers. Whiny, snot-nosed children in strollers. Fragrant livestock doing their business out in the open. Morbidly obese families in ill-fitting clothing. Behold the wonders of the fair! I could be making this up, but I'm pretty sure the annual western Washington state fair in Puyallup is the largest one west of the Mississippi and boy is it a doozy. It runs for three weeks each September, and this year I was fortunate enough to get a double dose of artery-clogging food, terrified roller coaster riders emitting high-pitched shrieks, and grimy public restrooms that ran out of paper towels within the first two hours of opening. Once we're friends, Jason, you'll have to make it a point to visit me in early September so you can marvel at all the locals and taste a famous Fisher's scone for yourself. I've made the yearly pilgrimage to Puyallup since before I could walk, so I know the fairgrounds like the back of my freckled hand and would be happy to navigate us quickly through the throngs of hillbillies to the Hobby Hall full of homemade clothes and 4-H presentations about castrating sheep. We could caress the thousand-pound pumpkins, pose for pictures with adorable piglets, and construct elaborate theories about the people who plunk down good money for telescoping flagpoles, bottles filled with colored sand, and magnetic bracelets that harness your chi (or some shit like that). If you behave yourself I'll even treat you to a Cow Chip cookie. Sounds like a magical Saturday to me, Jason. How could you resist?
*I titled this the Lost Reason because I actually hand wrote this post in mid-September after enjoying a rockin' Hall & Oates concert at the fair. My procrastination is so intense that I didn't have the energy to type up my ramblings until today
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