Reason 239

My brother. Like you, I have an older brother, so when it comes to understanding what it's like to be the second born, I can empathize. I bet your mother didn't finish your baby book, either. My brother is four years older than me and happens to be celebrating a birthday today, making him practically ancient. Despite the age difference, I think you and my bro would get along quite well (you know, in case I ever ditch you at some family function and you have to fend for yourself). Both of you are giants among men, with him standing two inches taller than you at 6'6" and, incidentally, you both played basketball growing up because of your freakishly long limbs. As far as I know he was never crowned Slam Dunk Champion of the World (or whatever honor you received in high school), so at least you can lord that over him. I'm fairly certain you both wear the same size shoe, so if you happen to lose your favorite Puma while traipsing through a northwest fire swamp or something, he could fork over a pair of his kicks so you wouldn't be limping about like a deranged lunatic with one naked foot. Other similarities include wicked senses of humor, your taste in music, and work ethic; my brother is one of the hardest working guys I know and will do anything to support his family. Ok, that's enough gushing. I'm getting a little sick to my stomach from all that praise. Just to balance things out, I'll also fill you in on some acts of stupidity he's performed over the years. When I was in elementary school he locked me out of the house while my parents were gone, causing me to go into hysterics and causing him to get into big trouble (a definite perk of being the little sister was ratting him out). In high school he drove his car through the wall that separated our garage from the family room, claiming the sun had been in his eyes or some such nonsense. After college he was MIA for a year, which drove my mother crazy with worry (and convinced her to change the locks on our house). Turns out he was living on the beach in Hawaii. Um, a postcard would have been appreciated. Alright, I guess that's enough airing of dirty laundry. At least now you two will have some interesting stories to discuss if you ever meet. Please tell your brother I say hello, Jason. I'm going to go wish mine a very happy birthday.