Reason 122

Practical jokes. Yesterday was April Fool's Day and in observance of this fine holiday I did what I usually do - absolutely nothing. It's not that I don't appreciate pranks or would disintegrate into a blubbering mess if someone played a joke on me. I just never seem to have the forethought to cook up something really devious, yet relatively harmless, to spring on unsuspecting loved ones. I'm pretty certain I have never done more to someone on this hallowed holiday then tap their shoulder and make them look in the opposite direction, and in my very long (and fairly accurate) memory, I can remember only one instance of tomfoolery that was aimed at me. My freshman year of college I lived with two other girls (no, we didn't have pillow fights every night in our skimpy negligees) who thought it would be hilarious to flip every picture on my section of the wall upside down. That would be about 20 pictures. It took me at least an hour to even notice the decor had changed, which was a bit of a letdown to them, and then I left the pictures that way for at least a week out of sheer laziness. All in all, not the best joke someone could have played on me. Another college friend had her entire bedroom papered with photocopies of Pee Wee Herman that year. Obviously, she had a much more fulfilling holiday than I did. In high school there was talk of playing a senior prank on the whole school, but no one ever took the initiative and another opportunity for ridicularity was lost. Jason, as my friend, I would beg you to take pity on me and concoct a prank worthy of all of the fools who have proceeded me. I'm not talking toilet papering my classroom or egging my car, two uninspired and obnoxious "pranks" that fall into the domain of teenagers. No, I want something creative and unexpected. Something that I will remember for the rest of my life and want to tell my grandchildren about. This is your chance, Jason, to pay homage to the idiots of yore who didn't believe the calendar had been changed by the king and went on celebrating the new year on April 1. Don't let me down.