Reason 128

Puppet building. A few weeks back I decided that instead of shelling out another 150 bucks for a real Muppet from the What Not Workshop, I could just make my own Muppet-style puppet with nothing more than craft supplies from JoAnn's, a few pointers from on-line tutorials, and lots of elbow grease. Well, yesterday my mom and I dumped all of the felt, fleece, hot glue sticks, spray adhesive, styrofoam, and plastic eggs (I'm thinking they'll make great eyes or ears) I had bought on the table, stared at the hodgepodge for a few moments, and realized we had no idea how to craft a cool looking puppet that can belt out showtunes while my hand is rammed up its bum. The farthest we got was cutting an opening in an old plastic bowl that will become a head and stuffing it with crumpled up newspapers so my hand doesn't flop around when I try to open the lady's giant maw. Jason, since you have basked in the glow that emanates from the Henson's Workshop and worked intimately with the gods who created Fozzy Bear and Rizzo the Rat, I'm betting you have a lot more knowledge of puppet making than this girl. Can you tell I am Kermit-green with envy? You could probably sweep your deep, brown eyes over all the bric-a-brac I bought and immediately concoct a plan to construct the boozy, lounge singer I can only see in my mind. Take pity on my ineptitude, Jason, and help me build the most fabulous Muppetesque puppet the world has ever known. Do it for puppet lovers everywhere.