Reasons 41 & 42

Pee and magic. Yes, dear readers, this is a twofer, so hold onto your hats. Jason, you gave a splendid interview on The Late, Late Show on Friday. You were funny, engaging, honest and vulnerable. You told a highly amusing, if not a little bit heartbreaking, story about being in the magic store at Disneyland when you were ten. This little tidbit is Reason 41. I already wrote about our mutual affection for the Happiest Place on Earth. What I didn't know until your interview is both of us have a soft spot in our hearts for the magic shop there. I was always fascinated by the gizmos in the store and lusted after the flash paper in the display case under the counter. There was a similar store at Pike Place Market when I was growing up and I always dragged my mom into it so I could ogle the magical merchandise. The embarrassing event that transpired in the magic shop that day is Reason 42. Your parents had told you stay there while they went shopping and, being an obedient middle child, you didn't leave, even though you had to pee like a race horse. You ended up doing the pee pee dance over to the back corner and let loose, making a puddle on the floor. As casually as you could you sauntered away from the evidence, staking out a different area of the store since you still couldn't leave. Sadly, a woman in a wheelchair was wheeled over to the pee-tastic area and a clerk called for clean up thinking the woman had peed herself. As I was listening to you tell this story the notion that we are kindred spirits was reinforced because I also peed my pants in public when I was ten. I had gone to a golf course with my dad and brother. It was my first time at an actual course and I had no concept of how large it was. Well, we had made it out to the 8th or 9th hole and I really had to pee. We didn't have a golf cart and the clubhouse was easily a mile away (at least in my 10 year old brain). I didn't want to take care of business in the woods because that wasn't something girls did unless they were camping in the wilderness. Well, I ended up wetting my pants and had to waddle all the way back to the car with a giant stain on my crotch. I haven't been back on a golf course since. It wasn't until years later watching "Billy Madison" that I felt at peace with my accident. After all, "Peein' your pants is the coolest." I do have a more recent peeing my pants story, but that will have to wait for a face-to-face meeting.

interview with Craig Ferguson - long, but hilarious