Jason says "read this blog!"
Just when I'm about to sign the DNR papers for this blog something comes along and inspires me to write another post. One of these days Jason Segel will come to his senses and beg me to befriend him. I just hope he isn't waiting to see the 365th reason. It may take years.



365 Reasons Why...An Explanation

Well, hello there (said in a very sexy voice). You're looking quite lovely today. Welcome to my blog. Feel free to take off your shoes and get comfortable, maybe leave a comment or two. This started out as kind of a funny thing to do after I blew a phone conversation with Jason, but I've found I really enjoy writing every day and researching new and interesting things about my future BFF. In January I met Jason at a comedy club and the few words we shared only reinforced my belief that he and I would get along famously. As a dear friend of mine recently said, "why wouldn't he want to be friends with you - you're awesome!" Perhaps the 365 reasons in this blog may just convince Jason of what I already know to be true: separately, our awesomeness is great; combined, it may be enough to take over the world. If you want to be one of my esteemed followers, simply click on the 'follow' button toward the bottom of the page. Come on, you know you want to.



Sunday, April 18, 2010

Reason 138

Story retirement. I understand that your proud parents and I are probably the only ones who comb through all of your talk show appearances on YouTube and skim every printed interview you give, hoping to glean some new piece of interesting information about both your personal and professional lives, so most folks haven't realized that a few of your stories are starting to wear thin. Yes, your tale of making out with an attractive women sans shirt and having her poke your belly, then giggle and say "Hey, fatty" is funny stuff, but in my estimation you have told that little anectdote at least three times in various TV interviews and its hilarity is starting to ebb. Your sob story about kids teasing you when you were younger by climbing on your back and chanting "ride the oaf" is also comedic gold, but fans can only hear the details so many times before they want to jump on your back and taunt you, too. It may be harsh to hear, Jason, but as your friend it's my duty to let you know when a story has grown stale and to move on. It may be helpful to keep a log of the yarns you spin for the public (a simple Excel spreadsheet should do the trick), so people don't start thinking you're that guy. You know, the one who never realizes everyone has already heard your tale and is oblivious to the eye rolls and smirks being thrown your way when you launch into the naked breakup story yet again. We've all seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall; it's time to move on. I'm just trying to save you some embarrassment, Jason. Really, you should be thanking me.

1 comment:

  1. My mom scolded me for being too harsh. Sorry if I hurt your feelings, Jason.

    ReplyDelete