Jason says "read this blog!"
Just when I'm about to sign the DNR papers for this blog something comes along and inspires me to write another post. One of these days Jason Segel will come to his senses and beg me to befriend him. I just hope he isn't waiting to see the 365th reason. It may take years.



365 Reasons Why...An Explanation

Well, hello there (said in a very sexy voice). You're looking quite lovely today. Welcome to my blog. Feel free to take off your shoes and get comfortable, maybe leave a comment or two. This started out as kind of a funny thing to do after I blew a phone conversation with Jason, but I've found I really enjoy writing every day and researching new and interesting things about my future BFF. In January I met Jason at a comedy club and the few words we shared only reinforced my belief that he and I would get along famously. As a dear friend of mine recently said, "why wouldn't he want to be friends with you - you're awesome!" Perhaps the 365 reasons in this blog may just convince Jason of what I already know to be true: separately, our awesomeness is great; combined, it may be enough to take over the world. If you want to be one of my esteemed followers, simply click on the 'follow' button toward the bottom of the page. Come on, you know you want to.



Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Reason 274

Dreams. I read somewhere that listening to a person recount their dreams is at the top of most people's dreaded activity list, right above root canals and pap smears. While I understand this sentiment, I also think that my dreams may be a tad more entertaining (and bizarre) than the average Joe's, so if you ever find yourself stuck on the receiving end of my nightime tales, Jason, at the very least I promise you a thought-provoking glimpse into my twisted psyche. Now, I'm not one of those new age, crystal-toting woo-woo dirt worshipers who journals as soon as my eyelids flutter open in hopes of uncovering a hidden truth about my subconscious, but I do think dreams reflect something going on in the sleeper's life, even if it isn't obvious at first evaluation. Last night, for example, I dreamt about my three year-old niece having a major meltdown at some social function, followed by time spent at a friend's wedding where a murder had occured but he was more concerned with my attending some wild stag festivities, then the whole sequence wrapped up at school where I overheard a coworker bad mouthing me for being late to a meeting that no one had told me about, so I called her a bitch (sorry, Brita!) in front of the school board. Let's dissect that, shall we? The section about my niece is pretty straightforward - last time I saw her she threw a tantrum that registered on the Richter Scale because her obnoxious party horn was confiscated. As for the nuptuals, murder seems to be a popular theme during my REM cycles, and Dave (the groom) treats me like one of the guys, hence his demand that I consort with the tuxedoed guests. As for the last bit I admit I'm a bit flummoxed. I love the sniping colleague and can't imagine her talking smack about me in real life and, more importantly, I am never late for meetings. Oh well. I'm still trying to figure out why I was hiding from wolves on a snow-covered mountain with only Raggedy Ann and Andy to keep me company in a dream from my childhood. Any suggestions, Jason? Once we're friends, please indulge me occassionally by feigning interest while I regale you with sleepcentric ramblings. Sure, my dreams aren't worthy of the Inception treatment (and as far as I know Leo DiCaprio has never visited me in my sleep), but at least they'll provide you with a chuckle or two and perhaps even writing material. Besides, you can always take comfort in the fact that I sound like a lunatic compared to you. That's gotta' be worth something.

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