Your sister. The internet is a marvellous tool for connecting to other people, finding out what's going on halfway around the world, and watching short videos of stupid people doing ridiculous things and monkeys sniffing their own butts. It also comes in handy when a certain person, who shall remain unidentified, wants to stalk a certain other nameless person and find out every inconsequential tidbit of information about him or her. Since I have a world of information at my fingertips it should come as no surprise to you, Jason, that during my quest for your friendship I've learned a bit about your family, as well. I know, for example, that your dad is a hotshot lawyer, your mom is a domestic engineer, and your older brother lives on the east coast doing God knows what. You also have a younger sister who still lives in southern California and has chosen to work in the educational trenches for nothing but sweet letters from grateful children and a pittance from the government. Since I'm a teacher, too, it makes sense that your little sis and I would get along swimmingly. Educators share a common language and can empathize with each other when a student throws up all over their shoes or a parent barges into the classroom demanding to know why little Jimmy wasn't chosen for the lead role of molar in the play about dental health. Normal folks just don't quite get our jobs, even if they pretend they do. It also helps that all teachers are mildly insane. So, if your sister and I are ever in LA at the same time and you feel obligated to entertain us both, know that we'll be more than happy to entertain ourselves. In fact, you could run some errands, do a quick interview and pick up some tasty Thai takeout and we probably won't even notice you're gone. We'll be lost in animated conversation about differentiated instruction, state standards, how exhausted we always feel, and what to do with the kid who won't stop picking his nose in class.
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