Jason says "read this blog!"
Just when I'm about to sign the DNR papers for this blog something comes along and inspires me to write another post. One of these days Jason Segel will come to his senses and beg me to befriend him. I just hope he isn't waiting to see the 365th reason. It may take years.



365 Reasons Why...An Explanation

Well, hello there (said in a very sexy voice). You're looking quite lovely today. Welcome to my blog. Feel free to take off your shoes and get comfortable, maybe leave a comment or two. This started out as kind of a funny thing to do after I blew a phone conversation with Jason, but I've found I really enjoy writing every day and researching new and interesting things about my future BFF. In January I met Jason at a comedy club and the few words we shared only reinforced my belief that he and I would get along famously. As a dear friend of mine recently said, "why wouldn't he want to be friends with you - you're awesome!" Perhaps the 365 reasons in this blog may just convince Jason of what I already know to be true: separately, our awesomeness is great; combined, it may be enough to take over the world. If you want to be one of my esteemed followers, simply click on the 'follow' button toward the bottom of the page. Come on, you know you want to.



Friday, August 20, 2010

Reason 258

The water situation. Yesterday morning I woke up to find the only items available for breakfast consumption were a granola bar, a bag of microwave kettle corn, and a solitary stale graham cracker. Now, before you go judging me as the most pathetic 33 year-old in the greater Seattle area, let me say that it was my first morning of housesitting and I hadn't packed more substantial sustenance because I thought I'd have time to stock up the night before. Apparently, my social life is so out of control that this didn't happen. Ok, I guess it's still pretty pathetic. So, after devouring that lone graham cracker to make sure I didn't pass out from hunger, I set out into the mean streets of Ballard (a neighborhood known for swarms of hipsters and Norwegian geriatrics) determined to fill a couple bags up with food. I ended up at Fred Meyer, a store that sells practically everything a gal could desire, and quickly loaded up a cart with fresh fruits and veggies, a smattering of dairy products, and clear packing tape (don't ask). Well, despite my hefty breakfast my tummy was soon rumbling and instead of savoring some recently purchased fresh strawberries I was lured into the evil clutches of the Starbucks that adjoins Fred Meyer. Since I abhor coffee I opted for my usal order of a Top Pot doughnut and a cup of crystal clear ice water (btw, Seattle tap water is amazing). Now, let me tell you, Jason, even though I am a paying cutsomer I estimate that nine times out of ten that refreshing cup of H2O takes at least five minutes for the barista to whip up, if she remembers to do it at all. I don't know what it is about me but every Starbucks employee avoids filling my order as if doing so will suddenly drop them to the bottom rung of the Starbucks empire. Yep, I am the customer you see standing at the coffee bar, confused look on her face, eyeing the endless stream of frothy drinks beign cranked out by the perky, green-aproned minions and wondering how it's possible to mess up an order for water. On those rare occasions when the water appears in a timely manner, another customer inevitably swoops in from nowhere and snatches up my cup, leaving me heartbroken and parched. I firmly believe, however, that if you accompanied me to Starbucks, Jason, the baristas would trip over themselves to fetch me a grande anything. Heck, they'd probably hold the drink for me while I noisily slurped water through the straw if you asked them to. Not that I'd abuse your celebrity power, good looks, or charm like that - too creepy, even for me. Nope, I just ask that you belittle the worker bees by screaming "Where's my water, you brainless automaton?" while I enjoy my tasty doughnut at a table by the window. I don't think that's too much to ask of a friend, is it?

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