Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Reason 266
The Storm. No, I'm not talking about a catastrophic weather event that reduces mighty oaks to kindling and launches unsuspecting cows into the stratosphere. Nope, I'm referring to a group of women who have kicked major ass on the basketball court this year, attained the best record in the WNBA, and are duking it out in tonight's Western Conference Semifinals against the Los Angeles Sparks (Boo! Hiss!). Despite my general dislike for organized sports, I have been a proud supporter of Sue Bird and her crew since Seattle jumped on the women's basketball bandwagon, so imagine the complete and utter joy I felt all the way down to my pedicured pink toes when my father called me up this morning wanting to know if I was interested in attending tonight's game with him. Um, that's a no brainer, Pops. I know you're a fan of the sport, Jason, and I can't imagine the players' genitals would dampen that love or deter you from rooting for your home team, even though everyone knows those California girls are going to lose, so any time you want to immerse yourself in the largest crowd of lesbians outside of Michigan Women's Fest, just let me know. I'll slip on some non-gender specific green and yellow athletic wear, throw my hair into a ponytail, and meet you outside Key Arena for some pre-game smack talk that will go a little something like this: Doppler, the Storm mascot, could demolish Sparks the Dog in a cage fight! Seattle's pint-size dance troupe can high step rings around the old ladies trying to krump at the Staples Center! Your ladies are goin' down, Segel! Yeah, I know I'm intimidating.
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