Jason says "read this blog!"
Just when I'm about to sign the DNR papers for this blog something comes along and inspires me to write another post. One of these days Jason Segel will come to his senses and beg me to befriend him. I just hope he isn't waiting to see the 365th reason. It may take years.



365 Reasons Why...An Explanation

Well, hello there (said in a very sexy voice). You're looking quite lovely today. Welcome to my blog. Feel free to take off your shoes and get comfortable, maybe leave a comment or two. This started out as kind of a funny thing to do after I blew a phone conversation with Jason, but I've found I really enjoy writing every day and researching new and interesting things about my future BFF. In January I met Jason at a comedy club and the few words we shared only reinforced my belief that he and I would get along famously. As a dear friend of mine recently said, "why wouldn't he want to be friends with you - you're awesome!" Perhaps the 365 reasons in this blog may just convince Jason of what I already know to be true: separately, our awesomeness is great; combined, it may be enough to take over the world. If you want to be one of my esteemed followers, simply click on the 'follow' button toward the bottom of the page. Come on, you know you want to.



Saturday, March 13, 2010

Reason 101

Gum. I have long been a fan of bubble gum. It started when I was a wee child chewing on wads of Big League Chew the size of my fist. Then came my love affair with grape-flavored Bubble Yum, a short-term romance with Juicy Fruit, and a blossoming of affection for tiny bricks of Bazooka Joe that could chip your teeth and whose comic could always be relied upon for an eye roll or chuckle. I also hold a special place in my heart for original cinnamon Dentyne because throughout my childhood my mother always stashed a pack in her purse, and I always thought it was the perfect after-dinner gum when we dined at our favorite Mexican restaurant. Sadly, that kind of Dentyne is no longer produced, leaving me the option of sucking on a cheap mint that's been sitting in a bowl on the hostess counter for months or offending friends and family with my cheesy-bean breath. Over time my desire for gum has waned a bit and I find myself yearning for only half a stick of chewy goodness at a time. Every morning after savoring my double-chocolate Costco muffin (a little piece of heaven after 19 seconds in the microwave), I brush my teeth, tear a stick of Double Mint gum in half, and proceed to chomp on it until I get to work so my darling students won't have to suffer if I accidentally invade their personal bubble. What this means for you, Jason, is I almost always have half a stick of gum to share and I will happily do so with you. Sure, it's nearly impossible to blow a bubble with half a piece, but you still get the benefit of the flavor and gummy experience without looking like a masticating cow, which isn't sexy on anyone. Just promise me you won't ask for a piece before doing a televised interview or presenting some important award. I refuse to be a party to such disgraceful social etiquette.

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