Reason 104

Method acting. The past few days websites detailing every move made in Hollywood have been abuzz with the news that you and Ed Helms have signed on to star in the Duplass brothers' stoner comedy Jeff Who Lives at Home. It's probably no shock to those who have seen Freaks & Geeks or your films (or that notorious interview you and Paul Rudd did in England) that you will play Jeff, a pothead who still lives with his parents. Now, I'm not accusing you of spending quality time with Mary Jane, Jason, but I do know how dedicated you are when it comes to preparing for your roles, so I wouldn't be surprised if you went the method acting route and arrived on set everyday totally stoned out of your gourd. I bet the Duplass brothers would be thrilled by the passion you're exhibiting, although not so thrilled about the exorbitant craft service bills you'd be running up. I, myself, have never longed to be high, on marijuana or anything else sold in little baggies. In fact, I have never even smoked a cigarette. I would, however, be willing to ditch that goody two-shoes yoke hanging around my neck for a few hours in order to share some bud with you. My one requirement is it must come in chocolatey brownie form because, after 32 years of being smoke-free, I am not about to inhale anything other than food. Various miscreants I know have told me I'd be even more of a hoot than usual if marijuana ever worked its way into my system, so I think the two of us combined could have one hilarious helluva' time. So, let me know when you start filming down in New Orleans, Jason. I'll bring the brownie mix if you take care of the rest.