Amazing Race dream team. Jason, how do you feel about eating gelatinous fish, milking ornery cows, and running a mile in your underwear in freezing temperatures? I say sign me up! If CBS is ever hurting to fill the slots for Amazing Race 32 and decides to pair up the pseudo-stars of its network shows with average Janes like me, you and I would dominate the competition. I've been watching the show since its second season, so I know all the tricks - calling every airline before booking a flight, exchanging currency before arriving in a foreign country, actually paying attention to the clues, wearing paper underwear so no backpack space is wasted...my travel knowledge is endless. I'm not sure which skills of yours would come in handy, though. Maybe you could put on a puppet show for kids in Ghana or drink your body weight in beer. As long as you promise to drive stickshift and eat all the disgusting crap foisted upon unsuspecting contestents, I'll take care of the rest. I can swim, I don't get airsick, I am only minimally fearful of heights, I have an excellent sense of direction, and no one would catch on to my ruthless, cuthroat ways until it was too late. Heck, not only would we smoke the competition, we'd also be the funniest thing on TV since teams carried cheese down a hill. Well, almost that funny. That shit made me laugh so hard that I cried. I'm counting on you, Jason, to contact the bigwigs at CBS. In the meantime I'll start cranking out matching t-shirts plastered with ironic sayings and our quirky team nickname.Thursday, March 4, 2010
Reason 93
Amazing Race dream team. Jason, how do you feel about eating gelatinous fish, milking ornery cows, and running a mile in your underwear in freezing temperatures? I say sign me up! If CBS is ever hurting to fill the slots for Amazing Race 32 and decides to pair up the pseudo-stars of its network shows with average Janes like me, you and I would dominate the competition. I've been watching the show since its second season, so I know all the tricks - calling every airline before booking a flight, exchanging currency before arriving in a foreign country, actually paying attention to the clues, wearing paper underwear so no backpack space is wasted...my travel knowledge is endless. I'm not sure which skills of yours would come in handy, though. Maybe you could put on a puppet show for kids in Ghana or drink your body weight in beer. As long as you promise to drive stickshift and eat all the disgusting crap foisted upon unsuspecting contestents, I'll take care of the rest. I can swim, I don't get airsick, I am only minimally fearful of heights, I have an excellent sense of direction, and no one would catch on to my ruthless, cuthroat ways until it was too late. Heck, not only would we smoke the competition, we'd also be the funniest thing on TV since teams carried cheese down a hill. Well, almost that funny. That shit made me laugh so hard that I cried. I'm counting on you, Jason, to contact the bigwigs at CBS. In the meantime I'll start cranking out matching t-shirts plastered with ironic sayings and our quirky team nickname.
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I thought I was the other half of your amazing race dream team. That's it! I'm amazing racing with someone else.
ReplyDeleteYou're my non-celebrity dream team choice, goofball. Although, seeing as how the producers didn't choose us when we auditioned, I don't think we'll ever race together. At least, not on TV and for a million bucks.
ReplyDelete