Jason says "read this blog!"
Just when I'm about to sign the DNR papers for this blog something comes along and inspires me to write another post. One of these days Jason Segel will come to his senses and beg me to befriend him. I just hope he isn't waiting to see the 365th reason. It may take years.



365 Reasons Why...An Explanation

Well, hello there (said in a very sexy voice). You're looking quite lovely today. Welcome to my blog. Feel free to take off your shoes and get comfortable, maybe leave a comment or two. This started out as kind of a funny thing to do after I blew a phone conversation with Jason, but I've found I really enjoy writing every day and researching new and interesting things about my future BFF. In January I met Jason at a comedy club and the few words we shared only reinforced my belief that he and I would get along famously. As a dear friend of mine recently said, "why wouldn't he want to be friends with you - you're awesome!" Perhaps the 365 reasons in this blog may just convince Jason of what I already know to be true: separately, our awesomeness is great; combined, it may be enough to take over the world. If you want to be one of my esteemed followers, simply click on the 'follow' button toward the bottom of the page. Come on, you know you want to.



Thursday, March 4, 2010

Reason 93

Amazing Race dream team. Jason, how do you feel about eating gelatinous fish, milking ornery cows, and running a mile in your underwear in freezing temperatures? I say sign me up! If CBS is ever hurting to fill the slots for Amazing Race 32 and decides to pair up the pseudo-stars of its network shows with average Janes like me, you and I would dominate the competition. I've been watching the show since its second season, so I know all the tricks - calling every airline before booking a flight, exchanging currency before arriving in a foreign country, actually paying attention to the clues, wearing paper underwear so no backpack space is wasted...my travel knowledge is endless. I'm not sure which skills of yours would come in handy, though. Maybe you could put on a puppet show for kids in Ghana or drink your body weight in beer. As long as you promise to drive stickshift and eat all the disgusting crap foisted upon unsuspecting contestents, I'll take care of the rest. I can swim, I don't get airsick, I am only minimally fearful of heights, I have an excellent sense of direction, and no one would catch on to my ruthless, cuthroat ways until it was too late. Heck, not only would we smoke the competition, we'd also be the funniest thing on TV since teams carried cheese down a hill. Well, almost that funny. That shit made me laugh so hard that I cried. I'm counting on you, Jason, to contact the bigwigs at CBS. In the meantime I'll start cranking out matching t-shirts plastered with ironic sayings and our quirky team nickname.

2 comments:

  1. I thought I was the other half of your amazing race dream team. That's it! I'm amazing racing with someone else.

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  2. You're my non-celebrity dream team choice, goofball. Although, seeing as how the producers didn't choose us when we auditioned, I don't think we'll ever race together. At least, not on TV and for a million bucks.

    ReplyDelete