Reason 94

Easter egg hunts. I know what you're thinking, Jason. Easter is still a month away, so why is this crazy woman writing about egg hunts? Well, once upon a time this crazy woman was a crazy little girl who set up egg hunts for her friends every season of the year (and once in awhile hosted a Thanksgiving dinner in July). When I got the urge to hide plastic ovum filled with crappy trinkets I no longer desired, I would simply call up my neighborhood pals and tell them to saunter over in 30 minutes or so. By the time everyone arrived there would be a cache of brightly-colored eggs tucked into various nooks and crannies all over the house and yard. Sometimes I would even hide a ginormous gold egg filled with a real treasure, like a candy bar or dollar bill. Oh, the brawls that broke out over that prize! One such egg-filled event cemented my best friend status with a lovely girl who lived down the street named Claire. Some other neighbor child dragged her over for the festivities and we became glued at the hip for the next ten years. It's amazing how hokey holiday traditions can bring people together. So, if you are ever in the mood to hunt down some eggs, just let me know Jason, and I will happily set up an elaborate eggstravaganza for you and a few friends. And just in case the super secret hiding places are too tough, I'll let you in on a little secret: there is always an egg in mom's silver teapot. Heck, there may still be one there from last year. That's why it's wise to use plastic eggs at our house.