Reason 103

I'm ambidextrous. Well, kind of. I write with my left hand, but do just about everything else with my right hand. The one task I can perform equally well with both hands is feeding myself. Fork in my left hand? Sure, no problem. Spoon in my right? Yep, I can do that too, and I won't even spill anything down my shirt. This, Jason, means that whenever we are dining side by side we won't have to worry about bumping elbows while sawing away at our steaks or shoveling coils of pasta into our maws. I can sit to either side of you thanks to the magic of ambidexterity (is that even a word?). If you are ever invited to my mom's for a somewhat formal dinner you may have to remind her of my amazing talent because after 32 years of feeding me she still sticks me at the end of the table's left side for fear of me jabbing my neighbor during our meal. Since she is right handed, perhaps her stubborness of thought directly correlates to the left side of her brain's dominance over her body. How awful it must be to rely so heavily on only one sphere of the cerebral cortex. Perhaps one day everyone will be as evolved as me and humans will no longer have to fret over the dangers of single-handed dining. That would be almost as good as world peace.