Reason 96

Booty traps? No, booby traps! Central Cinema, a kick-ass theater that shows older movies while serving delicious pizza and other savory concoctions, is hosting a Goonies quote-along tonight. Oh, Jason, why don't you live here so we could delight in doing the Truffle Shuffle together? Apparently, there will be Bingo, props and a costume contest, as well as a giddy audience of at least 50 dorks yelling at the Fratellis and giggling when Andy accidentally smooches Mikey in the cave. I read an article recently that mentioned the first screenplay you sold was remniscient of the Goonies plot, so I bet you hold a soft spot in your heart for that charming band of misfits and could impersonate Chunk retelling his movie theater puke debacle almost as well as I can. If you read this in time to catch a flight up to Seattle let me know. I will happily ditch my date to share a bowl of popcorn with you. That definitely wouldn't feel like I was babysitting and not getting paid, and I bet you'd even get a "Holy Mary, mother of God, would ya' look at that!" out of me.