Reason 97

Olifactory loveliness. The last time you were on The Late, Late Show Craig commented on how good you smelled. Now, I don't remember you smelling either wonderful or hideous when we met in San Francisco (I was probbaly too stunned to notice), but I will take Craig's word for it. I, too, have been told by multiple people that the funk I exude is quite comforting. In high school one of my friends borrowed a sweatshirt of mine and held on to it for months, only relinquishing it when my smell had worn off. I don't know if it's my pheremones (which certainly don't seem to have an effect on the opposite sex) or the fruity products I use in the shower, but I have never heard any complaints in regard to the scent I emit. My classroom, on the other hand, smells like sweaty, pre-pubescent children on a daily basis, and I pray that that particular smell never attaches itself to me because people would run in the opposite direction when they saw me coming. So, Jason, no need to fret about your nose being offended when we meet (unless that meeting takes places in my hot, stuffy classroom). I promise to bathe thoroughly beforehand and even put a dab or two of perfume on my wrists. Go ahead and take a whiff - I won't think you're strange at all.