Jason says "read this blog!"
Just when I'm about to sign the DNR papers for this blog something comes along and inspires me to write another post. One of these days Jason Segel will come to his senses and beg me to befriend him. I just hope he isn't waiting to see the 365th reason. It may take years.



365 Reasons Why...An Explanation

Well, hello there (said in a very sexy voice). You're looking quite lovely today. Welcome to my blog. Feel free to take off your shoes and get comfortable, maybe leave a comment or two. This started out as kind of a funny thing to do after I blew a phone conversation with Jason, but I've found I really enjoy writing every day and researching new and interesting things about my future BFF. In January I met Jason at a comedy club and the few words we shared only reinforced my belief that he and I would get along famously. As a dear friend of mine recently said, "why wouldn't he want to be friends with you - you're awesome!" Perhaps the 365 reasons in this blog may just convince Jason of what I already know to be true: separately, our awesomeness is great; combined, it may be enough to take over the world. If you want to be one of my esteemed followers, simply click on the 'follow' button toward the bottom of the page. Come on, you know you want to.



Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Reason 113

Impervious to embarrassment. It takes a lot to make me blush or stammer with embarrassment. As a fat kid who was endlessly taunted by her older brother and drooling idiots on the playground, I had to build up a thick skin almost as soon as I popped out of my mom's vagina. My parents also happen to be intelligent, funny people, and being around them motivated me to hold my own when it came to exchanging witticisms. Basically, I couldn't afford to clam up and dissolve into a weepy puddle whenever a barb was aimed at me - I never would have left the house. Now, don't mistake my lack of embarrassment for a desire to be in the spotlight. I am not one of those obnoxious people who constantly needs to be the center of attention and will stop at nothing to force all eyes on her. Actually, watching those people from the sidelines is the one thing that can make me cringe with embarrassment at how humanity has evolved. Over the years I have survived many incidents that the average person would find mortifying. In middle school I went to see Kuffs, the Christian Slater cop flick (yes, that is fairly embarrassing in itself), to celebrate my friend Michelle's birthday. I thought it would be great if the other 12 people in the theater sang Happy Birthday to her, so I stood up and made a very loud plee to the audience to serenade Michelle. I started to sing at the top of my lungs and realized, a line in, that no one, not even my other friends, was singing along. Did I run crying from the cineplex? Of course not. I finished singing and took my seat. One day in college I was leaving my morning choir class and I tripped up the stairs (this is actually a fairly common occurence in my life). A few hours later as I was entering my science class I tripped up the stairs again. Now, this wouldn't have been too bad except a girl turned to me and said "didn't you trip in choir, too?" I smiled sweetly and nodded my head, as if scrambling up flights of stairs was all part of a grand plan. When I got home I realized that the zipper on my pants had been down all day. I was chagrined for a moment and then found solace in the fact that I had at least been wearing underwear. See? It takes something pretty catastrophic to knock me off of my cloud. Not even taking a nosedive into the bleachers in front of a bunch of 6th graders on the first day of school, which happened this year, can phase me. Rest assured, Jason, that if something ridiculous goes down when we're together I will not turn into a shrinking violet, leaving you to bear the brunt of embarrassment. The word 'abashed' is barely in my vocabulary, and that's a good thing for everyone involved.

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