Reason 62

Sir and ma'am. After Bring the Rock on Saturday, where you told a cringe-worthy story about sing-speaking the entire lyrics of "Ain't to Proud to Beg" to your ex-girlfriend in a vain attempt to win her back, I bumped into you on the street and got you to sign my The Great Muppet Caper LP. You were, um, a tad tipsy shall we say, and didn't understand that the pen could not write because it was still capped. Being the well-mannered woman that I am, I uncapped the pen, turned the LP over so it was facing the right way, and in a joking manner said something like "there you go, sir." Your reaction? "Ugh, do not call me sir." I thought this was absolutely perfect because I abhor it when people call me ma'am. I am not an old lady and shant be treated like one, damn it! When customer service people refer to me as ma'am I actually chastise them. Recently a clerk at the grocery store called me 'miss' and I almost swooned with joy. I thanked him profusely for not using that other term and he just looked at me with a mix of pity and annoyance. Oh, well. Not everyone understands us, Jason.