Reason 88

Height. Looking at the two of us, some may deem us freakishly tall. These people are probably midgets. It's true that neither of us fall into the average height category - you tower over your colleagues at 6 foot 2 inches and I dwarf my puny students at an Amazonian 5 foot 10 inches - but I don't seem to notice how far my head is from the ground until someone points it out to me. I'm sure you have had perfectly pleasant people ask you to grab something off the highest shelf at the grocery store or hang a picture sans stepladder or, if you are my mother, change the kitchen calendar every month so she doesn't have to climb onto a chair and risk injuring her brittle bones. Generally, I don't mind doing these things because I know how these vertically challenged people must suffer in their day-to-day lives. What does bother me is knowing these shrimps are often looking up my nose as I try to convey some critical piece of information or staring down at a head of greasy hair when I should be feigning interest in someone's reenactment of their kitten's antics from the night before. Having people ask me if I played basketball in school or what the weather is like way up there gets old fast, but this is the cross we must bear, Jason. On the bright side, at least we'll never look awkward in pictures together - in regard to our height, anyway.