Reason 67

Defensive driving. I don't want to toot my own horn (yeah, that totally deserves an eye roll), but I am an excellent driver, just like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man. As a side note I, too, detest K-Mart. Jason, you will never have to fear for your life while riding shotgun with me. Yes, occasionally I may drive with my knees or clumsily search for a song on my iPod, but I have never gotten in an accident or received a speeding ticket. Have I been pulled over? Sure. But still no ticket; I'm that awesome. I do admit to backing into a car in the parking lot of my high school on the very first day I drove my first car, but I was only going 5 mph and the other driver, an uptight mom who cared more about her new BMW than her own children, totally deserved it. I promise to keep my eyes on the road when your strapped in beside me and, if you're lucky, I'll even let you choose our tunes.