Reason 158

Healthier eating. Last week I made the mistake of watching Food, Inc., a documentary about processed food and the disturbing evolution of farming in our country. The film outraged me so much that I, an historically complacent eater, have actually started to change my eating habits, reading nutritional labels before tossing items into the grocery cart, loading up the fridge with fresh fruits and vegetables, and counting the days until the farmer's market opens across the street so I can buy tasty organic treats that didn't travel a thousand miles to get onto my plate. A few days after watching Food, Inc. I went to a showing of Fresh, another documentary about America's desperate need for a food revolution, which only cemented my determination to use my almighty dollar to fight the ginormous food corporations. Don't worry, Jason, I haven't become a health food zealot, looking down my nose at anyone who indulges in the creamy goodness of Kraft macaroni & cheese or chiding coworkers for shoveling some cardboard Lean Cuisine meal down their throats in the limited amount of time we have for lunch. I still indulge in a triple chocolate muffin from Costco almost every morning for breakfast and will happily knock back a martini or two when the mood strikes - it's not like I have become a poster child for Whole Foods. When we do hang out, however, I promise to drive right past McDonald's when your belly starts to rumble, no matter how much you beg and plead for some golden, deep-fried taters, and then kindly remind you that happy, grass-fed cows taste a whole lot better than corn-fed ones who have been standing in their own shit for days on end. Before you know it you will be cultivating your own vegetable garden and planting sweet-smelling orange trees in your yard so you can enjoy fresh squeezed juice every morning before call time. You'll troll the internet for fresh recipes on preparing healthy and delicious meals, become a regular at the L.A. farmer's market (assuming there is one), and walk around with a smug smile on your face knowing that your colon is one of the healthiest in town. After just a week of avoiding processed foods I have noticed a change in my energy level, so I'm hoping the positive changes I'm making stick with me for the long-haul. If I happen to fall of the fresh food wagon, though, and start gorging myself on frozen pizzas and canned bean dip (not together - don't worry), you have my permission, Jason, to knock me over the head with an artisan baguette until I come to my senses. Then we can skip off to a nearby Trader Joe's knowing all is once again right with the world.