Reason 165

Allergies. As far as I know I am one of those rare creatures who doesn't suffer from a single allergy. You could stuff my mouth with peanuts and throw me in a pit of dog hair during a spring day that boasts the highest pollen count ever recorded and I would be just fine. Unfortunately, I am surrounded by kids on a daily basis who could die if they accidentally ingest a legume, strawberry, or even catfish (not that I'd ever serve that in my classroom). Every year I receive Epi-pen training just in case a student goes into anaphylactic shock and needs a vial of epinephrine jabbed into their upper thigh. Thankfully, I have never had to administer the pen, but some of my colleagues have and it sounds like a horrible experience. As my friend, Jason, you will never have to worry about offering me potentially deadly snacks or having to race me to the hospital on the back of your Vespa if I get stung by a bee. And if you happen to be one of the fifty million  Americans who suffers from allergies you can sleep soundly knowing that I carry Kleenex in my purse, am comfortable dabbing your inflamed hives with soothing lotion, and could save your life with a swift injection of adrenaline at the first sign of your throat closing up. Game on, allergies. Bring on my Pulp Fiction moment!