Reason 182

Sneeze etiquette. My parents must have instilled the importance of good manners in me from an early age because whenever I hear someone sneeze I feel compelled to bless them (despite my atheistic leanings). The other day my dog emitted a small "achoo," or whatever onomatopoeic device our furry friends identify with, and I actually said "bless you" in reply. Over the years I have tested out different responses to people expelling foreign particles from their nasal cavities - salud, gesundheit, an empathetic look, even the word "snickerdoodle" for a time in high school - but none of them had the simplicity and comfort of "bless you." I completely identify with Bridget Fonda's character in Singles who only requires one thing from her boyfriend - a polite response when she sneezes. In my book, impeccable manners never go out of style. Jason, you can count on me to bless you five ways to Sunday when you experience an involuntary reflexive reaction to something weird being in your nose. I may even take a cue from Seinfeld and exclaim "you are sooo good lookin'" instead of boring you with a traditional reply. Afterall, it doesn't hurt to build up someone's self-esteem after they've publicly contorted their face and sprayed bodily fluids over every surface within five feet of them.