Reason 184

A break from Hollywood insanity. Jason, you've lived in Los Angeles your entire life, so you probably think it is completely normal for people to have inflated egos (and perhaps other body parts), dish about leaked sex tapes and rehab stints over brunch, and obsess about opening weekend returns for the latest blockbuster. I hate to burst your bubble, but this doesn't hold true for just about anyone living outside the L.A. area. I don't know a single soul who has had to worry about an alcohol monitoring ankle bracelet clashing with their wardrobe or whether last Saturday's prostitute will go running to the tabloids to make some extra cash. Whenever we hang out I guarantee there will be nary a scandal in sight and, if you start to complain about the size of your on-set trailer or the fact that the cute barista accidentally put whip on your latte this morning, I will immediately put you in your place. Perspective will probably be a tad easier to gain when I tell you all about my students whose families live in their cars or my coworker who recovered from breast cancer only to have it return a year later. Sure, it would be entertaining to hear about which of your celebrity friends have gone under the knife or dabbled in extramarital affairs (especially if they were with members of the same sex!), but at the end of the day I really just want to bond over fries at the local diner or get my giggle on with a classic comedy. Hmm, for some strange reason I seem to be craving "L.A. Story."