Reason 198

Clever captions. With the advent of social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook, the sharing of  photographs that document every mundane aspect of our lives has become the norm. No longer do we have to sit in someone's darkened living room for hours as they click through slides of their neverending trip to Europe (Look kids, Big Ben!), pretending to be fascinated by every Parisian cafe and stein of German beer our soon-to-be ex-friends enjoyed on their vacation. Nope, now we can scrutinize and mock our nearest and dearest from the comfort of our couches, office chairs, and bathroooms (don't judge me!), without feeling obligated to comment on every picture of your coworker's new baby or cousin's wedding reception (is that uncle Bob groping a bridesmaid?). The only expectation I have in exchange for scrolling through page after page of photos is that captions are included and they sure as heck better be worth reading. I'm not an idiot - I can tell that you are standing in front of a weird looking tree or that you saw an elephant at the zoo last weekend - so there's no need to write that underneath the picture. If I am going to spend my extremely valuable minutes passing judgment on you, at least make me guffaw, or, at the very least, titter. Jason, I assure you that the majority of my Facebook photos are attached to clever captions, so you will never be confused as to why I am mounting that metal pole at the park or what exactly that emu is doing to my boob. In fact, you'll probably be quite charmed by my antics and grateful for my insightful explanations. I value my friendships, even the ones with people I haven't seen since elementary school, so I feel it's only right to put forth a little effort and amuse all my peeps out there on the Interweb. Afterall, even the freaky voyeurs who secretly track every photographed move I make deserve to be entertained.