Reason 202

I get shit done. Not to toot my own horn, but when push comes to shove, my back is up against a wall, I am wedged between a rock and a hard place, and any other ridiculous cliche that comes to mind, I generally accomplish whatever task I've cooked up in my maniacal, little brain. Case in point: a little over a week ago I had the brilliant idea of choreographing a musical flash mob of 6th graders for the end of the year assembly instead of performing the usual song parody. Now, if you have ever spent a significant amount of time with someone going through puberty you know that they can be a bit manic and completely unreliable, so attempting to wrangle thirty or so twelve year olds, then teach them some sweet dance moves and actually count on them to remember the steps is akin to training my cat to use the toilet - virtually impossible. And yet I managed to pull the top-secret event off in seven days time. Sure, I had to sacrifice some of my precious lunch time to debrief the gang on my vision, hang out with ten or so extremely dedicated shrieking, sweaty preteens after school one day, and post a potentially mortifying video of myself dancing alone in my classroom on YouTube, but when all of us started busting out the Cabbage Patch and Hand Jive at today's assembly and I saw the surprised delight on hundreds of cherubic faces in the cafeteria, all that pain and suffering was totally worth it. So, Jason, the next time you're in a pickle, whether it be choreography-related or not, and need someone to bypass all the crap and simply get the job done, I'm your gal, especially if middle schoolers are involved. I draw the line, however, at potty training your pets. That's the kind of crap I try to avoid.