Reason 199

Medieval madness. Hear ye! Hear ye! Let it be known that on this day all fair maidens and brave knights shall gather together for the 11th annual Medieval Faire and movie day. Let the festivities begin! So, that was how my day started out; what about yours? Until this very moment, Jason, I bet you never realized how desperately your soul was yearning for a middle school renaissance fair experience. How fortunate for you that I slave away at a fine educational institute where the 6th grade Social Studies department feels compelled to organize a royal court, entertainment, and a frenzied hour of buying and selling wares handcrafted by twelve year olds (and their parents). Today I witnessed a very nuanced reenactment of serfs pleading for their lives before a king with Justin Bieber hair, followed by a short talent show where one poor singer burst into tears at the end of her performance, and then two cutthroat rounds of snatching up tinfoil hats and undercooked brownies with wads of fake cash. Bring on the mead, says I! A few periods later, after students had completely come down from their sugar highs, we got to enjoy such authentic medieval-themed films as The Princess Bride and Shrek, instead of attempting to actually teach anything during the last week of the semester. Clearly, this is one of the best days of the entire school year. It's a pity you couldn't join in the fun, Jason, but come next June I'll drop your invite in the mail (start cultivating an iron stomach now). If someone honorable can vouch for your behavior around that time you can even apply to become a knight and take part in the sacred dubbing ceremony in which you will kneel before the king and queen and then receive a very fancy certificate. Don't get too high on that horse of yours, though; I draw the line at calling you Sir Jason.